If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.

If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.

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~*~2nd part of 2009~*~

I cannot believe last time I blogged was in April! Ah well! My vertigo attacks are getting better and better... now I just get them once in awhile....which is much better than EVERYDAY for first few months! I did end up in hospital 2 times. First time it was because I had vertigo attack continuing on for a week (even after I took medications for them and they weren't working for me) and I started to throw up so I went to see my doctor and he sent me to hospital to be admitted. After switching over to new medications... things were getting better. Until couple months later I landed in hospital and stayed for nearly 3 days because my heart felt funny. To find out one of medications for my Meniere's was conflicted with my heart condition. Ever since no more hospital stays. *Knock on wood*

So much has happened this year. One very interesting thing was that... it has been 10 years since I graduated from high school. I had this prom glasses... well on the EXACT day that I graduated from EXACT 10 years later they broke into millions of pieces!! I couldn't believe it! Why exact 10 years later on same day that I graduated? Really creepy! Yes I did cry over for it for few days but I'm over it though.

Few months ago my life has been changed in a BIG way and I definitely learned a BIG lesson from it. I cannot get into it right now but I can say this... I'm getting there... sure it is a long journey but I will get there. I cannot believe it is November already! Before we know it, we will swing into 2010!

My birthday was last month ... I still can't believe I'm in my late 20's. Just 2 more years before I hit the big 3-0. I keep teasing people that I feel old already! But I know it is from being a busy momma to 2 active boys :) My boys are doing so good. I'm so proud to be their mother. I'm so proud I get to be the one to raise them and watch them grow up and have moments with them.

~*~Interesting 2009~*~

Well it has been LONG time since I last blogged! In 2nd half of 2008, I started having vertigo attacks here and there but it was not so bad except for one night (Election Night which I will never forget) I had to be brought to the hospital in ambulance. Then when 2009 rolled in, it got worse and worse that I had them on weekly basis. I really hated it. I felt so hopeless. So in late February, I asked my family doctor if it was Meniere's disease after doing some research on it. He referred me to a neurologist last month. My neurologist ordered few tests including MRI, ENG and blood tests. So I had them done and I was supposed to go back on March 25th but the medications weren't working that I started having them almost daily. So they changed the appointment from 25th to 18th. Yep I have Meniere's disease. Plus he found on my MRI report, I have sinus issues so he referred me to ENT doctor. Oh boy!

Plus he ordered physical therapy to help retrain my ears for balance. I went to my first physical therapy last week which was just an evulation to see what kind of therapy I needed and I was sent home with 2 small execrises to do at home. I went back earlier this week and started my real threapy. Oh boy it was so interesting. I lost balance many times! So she sent me home with MORE execrises to do. Ugh! But it is so important to train my ears and balance so that way I won't have too often vertigo attacks.

Also I went to ENT doctor earlier this week. It was very interesting appointment since I never been to ENT before. He had to numb my nose, which was really nasty because it goes down your throat and it was not pleasent taste at all! Ew! Then of course, those equipments to check my nose hence the reason my nose had to be numbed. I couldn't breath at all, so I asked how long it would last. I was told half hour... so I had to breath through my mouth for half hour. After that I had headache which I wasn't too surprised about. I have to go back next week for hearing test (which I don't think is necessary since I'm already deaf) and physical therapy again. One scary experience after my appointment was that... the office was on 3rd floor. The interpreter and I were waiting for evluator, and we noticed one of them wasn't closing all the way and we were talking about how we used that one to come up. Then all of sudden, my interpreter heard a woman's voice. She was stuck in that evluator, between 2nd and 3rd floor! So we got help for her. After that, we looked for stairways. Well when we got to the first floor, the door was LOCKED! So we went up to 2nd floor which wasn't locked and used the working evulator to go down to first floor. How scary is that?! What if it was me in there?? And what if there was a fire and the first floor stairways door is locked?? After we got to first floor, they finally got the woman out. She thanked us for getting someone for her. Because she said she did use her cell phone and even set off the alarm but nothing worked! Wow!

Not just that...but I have "million" of appointments. I went to dentist last month for cleaning...to find out that I have few more appointments ahead of me. I went last week for fillings. Next week I have to go back for more fillings then go to other dentist (they referred me to other dentist) for a root canal. Ugh! Then go back in couple weeks for more fillings and a crown. Then after that they will have to do deep scaling which I'm not so thrilled about but it needs to be done. See it is not even half year yet and so many appointments! I'm so surprised I'm still here LOL! Oh yea, I finally got used to my glasses. It took me awhile. At first I didn't use them much... until couple months ago I started to wear them daily. Only because I had sinus pressure that killed me when I put glasses on so it took some time to get used to it.

Well I better get going...

~*~Vlog~*~

Vlog is like a blog, but it is done in video. It is very popular among deaf community since they can sign in their own way to express instead of words in blog. Because I don't like to be in front of camera, I haven't done that. But today is first time I did it. I'm not sure if this blog will accept my video clip so let try it now. It is already on my facebook account though.



Transcript for people who don't know sign language:

"Okay, I'm sorry, my computer is slow that I didn't know when it started recording. Just let you know that I don't like to be in front of camera so excuse me. Anyways today is August 7th. I'm surprised today is cool as it is supposed to be hot in August. So that means cold weather is coming soon, are you ready for that? Also it is other sign that school will start school soon. My 2 sons will start on August 25th so we have been busy shopping for school, clothes, shoes and everything. Ahhh! Crazy!! Anyways, I guess that is all. See you later."

~*~So relaxed~*~

I feel so relaxed... I love aromatherapy... it does work! Maybe that is what I needed the whole time. I forgot to add that when I was shopping yesterday, I discovered that it is so hard finding a bra in my size! There was not even a single one! So I will have to continue looking for one. Oh the joys of being a woman huh?

Well since boys are going to start school later this month, it is time to brush up on their skills so they can remember what they learned in school. And also to get them back on schedule because my first son is used to start school at 9am but now he is entering 3rd grade so he has to start at 7:30am! I think I need to do that for myself as well as I'm NOT a morning person at all! So it is best we start now so we can be schedule by the time school starts. And Tyler will have some adjustment. He was in half day for Kindergatern so this year he will be in school full day. I'm still looking for a job.

Only thing I don't like when kids start school, it is early sign that cold weather is coming :( I guess I shouldn't complain so much about it because my boys do love it. They always look forward to snow every year!

I did plan to get a haircut over the weekend but I kept forgetting that most salons close early on the weekends. I was out last Saturday just shopping and all. Then we got home so I can make dinner for them. I was about to head out to salon afterwards but I thought I better check their website and saw the hours so it was too late :( So I just went to another store just to kill time for awhile. Ah well.

~*~Swinging into August~*~

So we are swinging into August now huh? More than half year is gone by! Before we know it, we will be ringing into 2009! So it is Back-to-School month where all parents shop for their children. Supplies, shoes, clothes ... what else? Lucky for me, I already pre-order supplies for boys couple months ago so I just have to pick up at their open house later this month :) So no crazy shopping for me. Except for shoes, clothes and their backpacks. Speaking of clothes, I saw a HUGE sale... most boys' shirts were $1 per! So I got bunch of them... what a perfect timing for that! Of course I just had to buy 2 cute shirts for myself and I bought this... aromatherapy stuff and I'm telling you...I'm loving it! Oh yes, my birthday is coming up in 2 months. I'm thinking no way because I know I *just* turned 26 and I'm going to be 27???? Oh well. Time does go faster and faster each year. I have decided not to go back to college this fall for few reasons. Just a short break.

Well that is it for now.

Project Black: Take Six - Dinsour

Project Black: Take Five - Shoes

Project Black: Take Four - R/C Car

I see someone's fingerprint on the car...

Project Black: Take Three - Toy Tire

Project Black: Take Two - Purse

Here is my cute black purse....

Project Black: Take One - My Glasses

Okay okay I know I'm so late but it is STILL July so I just have time to get them in :) Just I always wear... my sunglasses! And an extra... my black tank top LOL.

~*~Just thinking~*~

Was just thinking that I need new hairstyle! Last time I got my hair cut was in January I believe so I'm overdue for one. Everyone say they like my long hair. I'm glad they think so... but it is not so pretty for me. It is becoming impossible for me. It is so hard to fix it lately. Ahh, maybe in couple weeks I will. Oh yes don't forget I do have a private blog that is for deeper details of my life. The reason for privacy is to protect my boys and myself while this one is just general opinions and useless ramblings.

~*~Bed for Alyssa (very touching)~*~

First you should read this article at my friend's blog to see what is going on... CLICK HERE

Somehow someone came across her article and wanted her to talk live on radio about it which you can read more HERE

So she was on radio this morning, I'm just sorry that I'm not able to hear it but the story itself does bring me to tears though... you can find more HERE

My friend Lesley is such a good friend for trying her best to get things going to help her best friend out. After today, her best friend is able to get the bed that her daughter needs. I always knew that Lesley is a special friend but I didn't realize how much special she is until now. Bless her heart!

~*~This angers me~*~

Woman killing pregnant woman and kidnapped the baby CLICK HERE

Okay so if she did that twice before going to prison but got paroled, did they actually think she wouldn't do it again??? If she did it the 2nd time then you can be sure she will do the third time which successed killing other woman just to get a baby! That is sooo awful! Where are morals those days now?? Sure I would love to have another baby which I have been wanting for few years but would I ever do that? NOPE because I have a freaking moral not to! I can be patient for my day to have another baby. I just feel so sorry for dead woman's family who just lost their daughter, sister and friend etc because of THIS woman's selfish act. I have heard of this story too many times (especially one time when I was pregnant with my first son and it happened so close to my home that I freaked out worrying) and I wonder who are going to protect pregnant women from those insane women who would do anything to get a baby?

~*~Just because~*~

Had a busy weekend. We were out of town last Saturday visiting friends and got home really late like 3am oops so I only had few hours of sleep before I had to wake up and got ready for my oldest son's birthday party today. The party was a BLAST! Now I'm unwinding before I go to bed since I have to get up at 6:30am to get boys ready for their camp. Just 2 more weeks of their camp. I have hard time believing that we are halfway through our summer break and they will be back to school next month! Wow! Half of me love summer... but other half of me hate summer especially when it is so HUMID which it has been for few days now ugh.

~*~Insomnia~*~

Insomnia really sucks. It is after 2am and you can see that I'm wide awake... it has been going on like this for couple weeks now. SUCKS!!!

~*~Today Inspiration~*~

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her... She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; she was tired of fighting and struggling... It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see....' 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?!

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way... The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Project Blue: Take Ten - Forum

I was sitting down to download the pictures to my computer when I looked at the computer monitor and saw the forum that I often visited... is blue! I was like hey why not?

Project Blue: Take Nine - Jar

Blue and white ribbons on this jar that I won at Angel's bridal shower last month... of course it was filled up with candy. We had to guess how many candies in there and I told her I wouldn't because I'm trying to lose weight. She told me to do it anyways and if I won, to give her the candies. And well guess what? I won LOL and she got 3/4 of the candies and I took 1/4 of them home for my boys. I don't think I will ever take the ribbons off this...